I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
