Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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