Already got asked if we're dating
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
