Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize