i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
