Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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