So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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