Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
