smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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