Whod you bang
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
