I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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