I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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