Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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