why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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