i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have fence marks all over my body
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
