Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
