come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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