i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
