Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize