handjob tips. give me some.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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