I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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