I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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