Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it

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(616): View more from Michigan

I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D

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(707): View more from California

I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.

(1-707): View more from California

Put down the everclear and go to bed.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.

(203): View more from Connecticut

You're perfect

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(503): View more from Oregon

HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!

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(831): View more from California

Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.

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