It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
