I love black thongs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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