K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
