Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
