I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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