Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
