She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
