Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Randomize
