So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
