Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
