i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
