ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize