I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
