Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
