wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
