i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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