ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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