I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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