If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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