I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize