Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
