I like to think it a success when the cops are called
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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