maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
