I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
