Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize