forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
