I am in a vortex of obligation.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
COCAINE IS GR8
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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