carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
