Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
