Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
