Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
