You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
