Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
