her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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