census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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