Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
