I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
