Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
