At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
