Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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