You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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